“Resolutions have faltered and failed from ruined resolve.”
New Year’s Day has dawned and gone! Resolutions have faltered and failed from ruined resolve. A resolve ruined by the daunting demand of unscripted circumstance.
Perhaps it’s because my good intentions are aimed at the sore and not the source. “Let me find a bandage or some Neosporin. Now, that should do it.” Perhaps it’s time to research the source!
Yesterday my planned visit with a friend in temporary rehab was cancelled because of a virus that initiated a quarantine. The specter of contracting infection kept me from relationship with a dear friend.
And as I reflect, it seems that I spend a great deal of time getting my “tent” ready to be presentable for relationship, while foolishly forgetting that my most important relationship is with the One Who sees right through that “tent” into my heart!
“Clothes make the man,” or so they say. And sometimes they deftly hide the evidence of failed resolve: to straighten my slouch and tighten my abs; or to delude myself into believing that this year I actually am going to give up chocolate!
And all the while it’s the remnants of frail fear that propel me in incessant energy to be presentable. And that remnant is the remaining residue of a spirit of rejection, bantering endlessly about how I need the right response, appropriate dress, and, if bereft of a knowledgeable response, to elicit something clever and entertaining. An exhausting enterprise!
Though I’ve journeyed far from that land of loathing, I catch myself looking back with faint longing to old habits and haunts. “If I could just get my act together, people would love me.” That “stinkin’ thinkin’,” though barely audible, sings a siren song, surreptitiously beckoning back to victim-hood.
But then the Living Lord closes the mouth of those lion-like lies and reminds of the deep desire and dependence I endlessly express to Him. And by His transforming process much of those lies fade as I recognize that my own present prayers are much like Paul’s, rendered this way in The Message translation: “I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could know Christ personally, experience his resurrection power, be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with him to death itself. If there was any way to get in on the resurrection from the dead, I wanted to do it” (Phil. 3:10-11).
Now the thought of the futility of flailing furiously, painting this peeling palace to make it presentable, pales. In spite of that seeming futility, God makes it clear that housed within those pitiful walls is His very Presence!
Wow! Listen to this: “Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19).
And there’s more! In 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 The Message phrases it this way: “So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.”
And so this stewardship of our bodies is conditioned on our standing with God not our standing with man!
A friend used the phrase “leaning in” to describe the intent of her women’s ministries leaders in seeking the face of God for direction. Not long ago, in contemplating the priorities of relationship versus knowledge, the thought occurred to me, “Our yearning must precede our learning!” I commented to her: “It just seems lately that I can’t get enough of Him. Transformation and revival— two of my favorite words of late!”
That is the passion of my heart! To be transformed by the renewing of my mind. And yet repentance must precede revival! I know for me it must. Resolve won’t do! Repentance means “to turn around.” Confess means to “cite a case in agreement.” When we repent, we are acknowledging that we have been going the wrong way and that by confessing we are coming into agreement with His Way; the Way of the Truth that brings Life!
“And so, Lord, I repent! I repent of flailing to figure it all out; of trusting the arm of flesh; of believing what I see rather than what You say (those things You will reveal as a result of my faith and Your sovereignty).
“I repent of my conviction that I need something or someone besides You to fill my true needs. I repent of trusting in political or financial solutions. I Repent of thinking I can muster up a passion for souls or a call or vision. I repent of the presumption that my puny prayers will move Your hand more than Your own desire and Father’s heart to gather Your ‘chicks’ under Your wings (as when you lamented over Jerusalem).
“I repent of believing that eloquent equals effective or that passionate equals fervent when You declare ‘the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.’ (James 5:16, NKJ) I repent of spending more time worrying about the future than listening to Your direction for the present.
“I repent of talking more than listening, both to You and to others! I repent of thinking that I have anything to bring to the table of Your purpose other than my humility.
“So, Lord, I repent of all these and more. In Your mercy, pour out revival on and in me and let it flow as living water from my innermost being to the outermost need. Put me on a diet of ‘leanness’— leaning into You! Take me from ‘me-ness’ to ‘Thee-ness’!
“And then You’ve promised to hear from heaven and heal my ‘land.’ You will make my righteousness dawn as the morning. You will make me the head not the tail. As I take the last seat You will invite me to the front seat. As I lose my life, I will find it in You. As I become last, You will make me first in Your eyes. You will give me everything that pertains to life and godliness.
“You will heal, instruct, help, come alongside, encourage, provide, protect, correct, empower, hold and embolden me in this new year -- this Year of 2009 -- this year of Your Divine! I love You Lord!
Thank You, in Jesus Name! Amen!”